What is this customer buying for his house?

A customer walks into a hardware store looking for these things, of which every house should have at least one.

He finds them hanging in a display rack, but cannot find any prices. So, he takes two off the rack and walks to the front of the store to look for the shopkeeper. When he finds her they have a conversation, which makes perfect sense and goes like this:

"How much are these?" the customer asks.

"They are a quarter each." says the shopkeeper.

"That means seventy five cents for 100?" asks the customer.

"Yes, that's right." the shopkeeper says.

"OK, I'll take 73 please." says the customer.

"Very good." the shopkeeper says, "That will be fifty cents plus tax."

Can you figure out what this customer just bought?

I do wish I could tell you my age but it's impossible. It keeps changing all the time

The actress Bette Davis famously said “Getting old is not for sissies.”

While I am not yet a senior citizen, I am beginning to understand what she meant.

Those creaks I hear when I wake up in the morning are not coming from the bed frame. WebMD is fast becoming my most frequently visited internet site. Discussions with friends center less on the new hot cars and more on the new hot pain reliever.

But there are upsides to becoming, well, more experienced. I have noticed that youngsters tend to give me respect that I don’t deserve just because I’ve been around for a while. My appearance, once referred to as “haggard,” is now described as “distinguished.”

Another advantage of getting older is economic. For many, middle age represents the peak of prosperity. Earnings typically peak between 45 and 55, and portfolios built over time are often peaking in value at this point in our life cycles.

Earnings typically peak between 45 and 55 ...?!

Oh man, I'm in trouble.

Seven Facts About Books...

These are courtesy of Dan Poynter.
Many are distressing.

1. There are 1.5+ million titles in print (currently available in the U.S.).

2. In 2001, consumers purchased 1.6 billion books.

3. Women buy 68% of all books.

4. Customers 55 and older account for more than one-third of all books bought.

5. 58% of the US adult population never reads another book after high school. 42% of college graduates never read another book. 80% of US families did not buy or read a book last year.

6. 70% of US adults have not been in a bookstore in the last five years. Only 32% of the U.S. population has ever been in a bookstore.

7. 57% of new books are not read to completion. Most readers do not get past page 18 in a book they have purchased.

Dwight Yoakum's Chicken Lickin's Chicken Rings

Every morning, country singer Dwight Yoakam gets up before the sun shines to make his famous Chicken Lickin's Chicken Rings, a recipe his own father taught him when he was growing up in a 100-square foot shack in Plastercaster, West Virginia.

The first order of business is catching a chicken. Dwight runs around in his backyard with his arms outstretched. His favorite technique is to corner a hen and leap on it. When he catches one, he inserts the chicken, beak-first, into an old fashioned laundry-wringer (the same one that his grandma, who sang briefly with the Carter Family and who bought young Dwight his first hammer dulcimer) and turns the crank until a "chicken pancake" comes out the other side.

Next, he uses an empty tin can to cut out "chicken circles" from the pancake. He pokes his finger through each chicken circle to create a "chicken ring."

Each chicken ring is breaded with a special mixture, the ingredients of which were passed down from his grandfather, Claude "Pappy Bowlegs" Yoakum, who handed over the recipe after a team of former Abu Ghraib prison guards paid Pappy a visit and convinced him that it was not in his best interest to keep the recipe a secret.

Finally, the chicken rings are tossed in a skillet until golden brown. This is Dwight's favorite part of the day, and his lucky neighbors can hear him singing merrily as he stands over the stove.
The simple country boy takes pride in the basic wholesome ingredients that go into his products.

You can read what goes into his similar product, Dwight Yoakum's Chicken Lickin's Chicken Fries (it's really fun to poke a Chicken Fry through the hole of a Chicken Ring!), right on his website:

Chicken breast with rib meat, water, textured vegetable protein product (soy protein concentrate, zinc oxide, niacinamide, ferrous sulfate, copper gluconate,
vitamin A palmitate, calcium pantothenate, thiamine mononitrate (B1), pyridoxine
hydrochloride (B6), riboflavin (B2), and cyanocobalamin (B12)), seasoning
(enriched wheat flour (enriched with niacin, reduced iron, thiamine mononitrate,
riboflavin, folic acid), salt, yellow corn cones, enriched yellow corn flour
(enriched with niacin, reduced iron, thiamine mononitrate, riboflavin, folic
acid), leavening (sodium aluminum phosphate, sodium bicarbonate), spice, sugar,
honey, high fructose corn syrup, dextrose, wheat starch, nonfat dry milk,
extractives of paprika, soy flour, dehydrated onion, garlic powder), dried whole
egg, seasoning (salt, sugar, hydrolyzed corn gluten, spices, sodium
tripolphosphate, dried onion, dried garlic, partially hydrogenated soybean and/
or cottonseed oil). BREADED WITH: Bleached wheat flour, yeast, sugar, yellow
corn flour, salt, oleoresin of paprika. BATTERED WITH: Water, enriched wheat
flour (enriched with niacin, reduced iron, thiamine mononitrate, riboflavin,
folic acid), salt, yellow corn cones, enriched yellow corn flour (enriched with
niacin, reduced iron, thiamine mononitrate, riboflavin, folic acid), leavening
(sodium aluminum phosphate, sodium bicarbonate), spice, sugar, honey, high
fructose corn syrup, dextrose, wheat starch, nonfat dry milk, extractives of
paprika, soy flour, dehydrated onion, garlic powder. Breading is set in
vegetable oil.

I don't know about you, but any food that comes with zinc oxide and sodium aluminum phosphate makes my mouth water

Deer Comfort Dying Cat

Margie Scott was devastated when her 9-year-old cat Sammy was diagnosed with kidney failure, but she never could have predicted what would give her comfort during her pet’s last days.

Scott, who lives in an apartment just south of Lake Whatcom, had adopted the long-haired white and gray cat when he was just six months old. Last month, Sammy stopped eating his dry food and would sit in a corner for hours. Scott took him to the vet, who treated him for dehydration. But it wasn’t enough. “He was better for awhile, but then he started going downhill,” she said. “He just had this haunted look in his eyes.”

Because Sammy was declawed, he was strictly an indoor cat. But he always wanted to go outside. So, in his dying days, Scott decided to let Sammy spend some time outside each day.

Sammy enjoyed his time outside the apartment, which is surrounded by woods and wetlands.A family of deer regularly visits the complex, and one day, Sammy was sitting outside in the grass when two young deer happened by.

Scott watched in astonishment at what occurred next.“One walked up to Sammy and they touched noses,” she said. “The deer jumped back and made a sort of a snorting noise, like he was sneezing. It seemed like he was taken by surprise,” she said.

What she saw next was even more surprising. ”The deer started licking him all around the head and neck, and Sammy just sat there allowing the deer to do this,” said Scott.

For several minutes, the young deer licked the small cat. Scott grabbed her camera and got a picture of the tender scene. “It was amazing,” she said. “I truly believe the deer was able to sense that there was something wrong with Sammy and that was why he started licking him, like he was trying to nurture him.”

Two days later, Sammy died.

Though Scott is still grieving the loss of her cherished pet, she takes comfort in the photo she has of Sammy and the deer. “I have some amazing memories, including this one,” she said.

Slide show: Deer comforts dying cat

Here's Proof:

The mainstream media blames Bush for everything!